5 Things I Wish I Knew Before Starting Therapy
If you had told me a handful of years ago that therapy would be one of the most meaningful investments I made in myself, I probably wouldn’t have believed you. I thought therapy was something people did to “fix” themselves or who were in major crisis. I began my therapy work carrying some fear, flooded with curiosity, and a quiet hope that my life and the relationships in it could feel a little easier. Looking back, there are so many things I wish I had known before getting started that would have eased my anxiety and encouraged me to start sooner.
Thinking about starting therapy but not sure where to start? You’re never alone. These are the five things I wish someone had told me before my first appointment.
1. There is strength, not shame, in seeking help
For a very long time, I believed what many others believed about themselves: I should be able to handle everything on my own and figure it out. Asking for help seemed like an admission of failure or sign of weakness. Instead, therapy taught me that it takes tremendous courage to acknowledge that you’re struggling, feeling stuck, or simply just want something to change. Some of the strongest people I know are the ones who are willing to be honest about their struggles and brave enough to ask for support. Looking back, starting therapy wasn’t a pivot out of failure or an act of weakness; it was one of the strongest and most compassionate things I’ve ever done for myself.
2. You don’t have to be in crisis to start therapy
Though I personally felt like I was in crisis when I first began my individual work in therapy, I wish I had known that I didn’t have to be to get started. Therapy can be an essential plug-in point when things begin to feel uneasy or unfamiliar or if you simply just need a nudge in a different direction. Before I started therapy, I thought I needed a “good enough” reason to go. I assumed that therapy was only for people experiencing a major life event or at a breaking point. What I’ve learned over the years is that therapy can be valuable when things feel overwhelming, your relationships start to feel strained, or you find yourself needing to change patterns that no longer work for you. You don’t have to wait until you are burnt out or suffering to seek support. Maybe you want to understand yourself better, or navigate a transition, or create a more fulfilling life. Sometimes, the best reasons to start are the most proactive.
3. The impact of therapy extends to every area of life
One of the greatest things to come out of my work in therapy is the insight gained in various areas of my life as an individual, a partner in my marriage, parenting, friendships, and career shifts. When I first started therapy, I thought that I’d come with a problem to “fix” and after some time, the “problem” would be solved. What I didn’t expect was how the skills gained and tools acquired would positively influence nearly every part of my life. As I did the self-work, I found myself communicating more effectively with my partner, showing up with more intention and presence as a parent, setting healthier boundaries where needed, and gaining more confidence in navigating the various transitions and stressors in my life. As I look back, one of the greatest surprises of therapy has been realizing that my investment in my well-being has given every area in my life the opportunity to grow.
4. Progress is not linear: it might get worse before it gets better
Perhaps the hardest thing I’ve realized is that healing and growth doesn’t always follow a straight line. There were sessions where I left feeling lighter and hopeful and other sessions where I felt emotionally exhausted and challenged. The work can be overwhelming at times, but beneath the discomfort is progress at play. I’ve learned that some things feel hard before they get better because I’m finally giving myself space to face what has needed attention all along. Keep at the work. It’s important. It matters. You deserve it.
5. Finding the right therapist matters
Before I started therapy, I wish someone would have emphasized that the relationship between you and your therapist truly matters and that it is okay to take your time to find someone who makes you feel safe and understood. The first person you connect with might not be the perfect fit and no therapist will have all the answers. If you’re considering therapy, give yourself permission to find someone who can create space for you to be vulnerable, feel supported, and challenged in ways that help you reach your goals.
Sometimes the first step is to simply start a conversation and see if a connection feels right. If you’re considering therapy, we warmly invite you to schedule a complimentary consultation to learn how we can help.
Contact us today and make the first step in your healing journey.